Beyond Straight and Gay Marriage- What Makes It Work?

The divorce statistics in recent times are quite devastating. 60 percent of new marriages will end up in divorce…sounds familiar?  Well, marriage as an institution certainly has its own unique challenges. Communication, finances, sex, responsibilities, family, and relations, time and so on. However, many marriages have survived the tests of these challenges and have held their ground for a significant period of time. One would wonder then, what makes a marriage tick? What keeps it going? What do successful marriages have in common?


This is making the conscious decision that in marriage is where you want to be and that despite what, divorce will not be an option. Tough call that one. Most marriages fail because the partners are still open to divorce as one of the possible solutions to the problems they experience in marriage. Once both partners are fully committed to the unions, they definitely have to strengthen other means of resolving conflicts that do not involve divorce and separation. Such couples eventually tend to be better communicators since they have dedicated their all to keeping the union intact.


If the traits were to be arranged in order of priority, communication would definitely be the first. Suffice to say, it is the most important pillar of many relationships, not only marriage. However, it does tend to be even more critical in marriage. How open are you about your opinions, feelings, hopes, and dreams? How well do you express them to the other person? How willing are you to share issues with your partner and how well do you trust them? These are just some of the fundamental questions you should ask yourself regarding your marriage. Having a well-built and solid means of communicating openly and honestly will certainly go a long way towards preserving your marriage.


Many relationships have a fundamental problem, insecurity. Are you always worried about what your partner is doing, who are they with, is he telling the truth about his whereabouts? Well, that is a trust issue. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to cultivate trust in a marriage if it did not exist in the early days of the relationship. Trust is often breached when one partner gives the other sufficient reason not to trust them or both partners fail to develop a relationship based on trust and utter openness. To avoid many issues related to feelings of insecurity, it is important to create a foundation for your marriage based on trust.

Role models

This is premised on the fact that you are certainly not the first person to get married and your idea of a good marriage has to have come from somewhere. Marriages that were begotten from good marriages tend to have higher chances of survival than those that weren’t. A couple’s role models in marriage can be their parents, friends, or close people with successful marriages. It is usually better if these role models are people you can talk to since they probably have years of experience in marriage.